


Please, live

by clementwillow



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:23:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21785461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clementwillow/pseuds/clementwillow
Summary: Dairon asks Beau to take care of herself.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	Please, live

Beauregard stretches out onto straw that is softer than she expects. In the calm of her post-training glow, the frigid night air of Asarius seeps through the cracks of the shed. Moments later, she is joined on the floor by her mentor, Dairon – the last person she expected to see again after months of no contact, much less in Xhorhas. Dairon pulls out a medicine kit and begins wrapping one of their fists still bleeding from multiple impacts. They toss Beau a roll of bandages, and she catches it in midair without looking up from her bruises. 

“I wish we could train more often. I mean, not like every day ‘cause I’d die. But, you know,” says Beau. Dairon looks down at Beau with an exasperated look. “I’m not asking you to come with us or anything,” adds Beau quickly. “I just wish that we could have had more time together. I think I could learn a lot more.”

Dairon sighs. “You and I are not suited for settling down in the Archives. Is that not why we left?”

“We could have left together. You know, travel a bit. Train a bit. Kick some ass.”

“We are at _war_, Beauregard. We are needed elsewhere.”

“Maybe after all of this is over, then?”

“We could be dead before all of this is over.”

“Could be dead tomorrow.”

“Exactly,” says Dairon dryly. 

Beau folds her arms. A silence. Then, she blurts, “Just hypothetically speaking–”

“There are no hypotheticals,” Dairon raises their voice as much as they dare in enemy territory. “I have learned to not have expectations about the future, and you should not either.” 

Beau grumbles in agreement, driving bits of straw into the ground. 

“And, there are elements of partnership that I do not cherish,” says Dairon. “The burden to protect the other is one I do not wish to bear. I have been in many positions where I have not been able to protect those I care about. You are young, so I am sure you do not–”

“There was a guy. One of my friends actually, that I was traveling with. He was killed right in front of me, and I couldn’t do a fucking thing.” 

A hesitation. “I am sorry.”

Beau acknowledges her mentor’s care with a shrug. “He actually used to say shit like you just did. About doing good when no one’s looking or whatever. And I think I could be okay with that. Eventually.” 

“That is good to hear.”

“So, are we going to stay separated for a while then?”

“Yes. Staying with others makes you closer to them, and _you must not get attached_.” Dairon repeats the words as fervently as they did earlier. “The first time someone close to you is killed, you hurt. After the next, the world feels cruel. Any more, and it feels... senseless.” The look in Dairon’s eyes, even in the darkness, makes Beau realize they are speaking from experience. “So, Beauregard. _Please, live. _”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic a long time ago when the relevant episode aired. I'm still pretty new at sharing my writing, so please be gentle haha.
> 
> I tried to think about what Dairon might have gone through to make them prefer solo work, and why they were so intense when they told Beau not to get attached to people. This was how my brain decided to connect those pieces of info.


End file.
